The Starfield no-planets run: Honey, I broke the Universe

Oh god, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm trying to fix it. Oh, hello everybody! Welcome to the fourth chapter of the great Starfield no-planets run, in which my character, rancid astro-buccaneer Mary Read, tries to play the entirety of Bethesda's so-big-it's-small RPG in space. When last we caught up with this galloping galactic nuisance, Mary was beginning to lose momentum. She had grown weary of happy-slapping freighter after freighter, though there's one particular wandering geologist she'd like to settle the score with. She had even lost her enthusiasm for boarding actions - the spice in every pirate's cup of grog - having mastered the art of standing at the bottom of a ladder. I've spent the past few days trying to cook up a proper endgame objective for Mary - some mad caper befitting a legendary space pirate and her rowdy crew of turncoats and tearaways, who absolutely aren't a bunch of corpses Mary has arranged into sitting postures and decorated with buckets. And in my desperation, I have turned to the forbidden magic of Starfield console commands - a hundred or more deceptively homely lines of text which, when typed into Starfield's in-game console (hit the tilde or @ key), can be used to perform impossible feats, like unlocking all the game's powers or becoming immortal. My initial hope was to solidify the game's weirdly intangible asteroids somehow, and build outposts on them. It's been a couple hours since then, and well, everything has gone awonk. I'm not even playing Starfield anymore. Instead, I am playing a very special, inadvertent Starfield mod of my own devising. Working title: "Totally Fucked". Read more